Today's letter is hard. It's from my friend Mary - the Mary I haven't found again. No one seems to know where she is. It's dated June 1, 1963. Apparently, I have decided to ditch school and head for Chicago. Which is what I actually did. Mary's letter is a word of warning, and an offer of help and support. How would my life have been different had I listened? Again, I don't really regret my life - the places it's taken me, the place I am today. So many things would not have happened. But - in the short run, what she tells me is fairly much what happened.

She's writing to the tune of The Kingston Trio on full-volume. She tells me she knows I won't be happy in any job that doesn't require a degree. Apparently I'm having trouble with "Larry" - and I know I've been flirting with a 6'8" man at school - I ended up marrying him a couple of years later, because I did go to Chicago, and I wasn't happy in any job I had, and when he asked me to marry him, I said, "Let's do it quick, before I change my mind."

She asks me to come home for the summer - all our friends will be there. She offers to let me live with her - that her mother is inviting me to stay - if I don't want to go home. She offers love and support. I did not take her up on it. All my old friends from home - I lost them all that summer. Not that they did not want me anymore - I didn't want them. I was in Chicago. We lost touch. I didn't miss them until it was too late.

Listen to the judgmental little prig I was in 1962/3: A questionnaire on Cheating in the Classroom.

1. What do you feel constitutes cheating in the classroom?
Me: Any dependency upon anyone else for anything at any time.

2. What reasons do you feel would justify cheating in the classroom?
Me: Reason does not justify cheating. Cheating is caused by a lack of self-esteem.

3. How prevelent do you feel cheating is on the Carthage campus?
Me: I couldn't say for sure. I've never noticed.

4. Have you cheated during the present semester?
Me: No

5. N/A

6. Which of these would best describe you (sic) attitude toward cheating?
a. It is all right
b. It is all right if for a good reason
c. It is always bad

Me: I crossed all of them out and answered: It would be the worst thing possible for ME!

7. In deciding whether or not to cheat in specific instances, did you consider:
what fellow students would think
how it might affect others grades
the possibility of getting caught
your religious beliefs

Me: None of the above. There's no decision to make. I'm proud of my own ability. I don't need anyone elses.

The End

Okay: This is probaby Ayn Rand talking here. I completely ignore the fact that I cheated often and gladly in Junior High and High School - right up to, but not including, Algebra 3 in High School. There was a whole bunch of us who joyfully copied off each other's papers, even during exams. All of us knew the material. It wasn't like we didn't know. We just sometimes forgot. It was only when I hit Algebra 3 and didn't know the material at all - could not comprehend it - that I gave up cheating. I refused to cheat on stuff I didn't already know.

A photograph of my best friend in high school - Lydia. A genuinely pretty girl. She has short curly brown hair, I believe she had blue or hazel eyes, a heart-shaped face, and a lovely smile. She sent me a sympathy card recently on the death of my mother. I don't remember if I posted it here or not, but if not, here it is:

"We were sorry to hear of your Mom's Death. I've been thinkng of us - upstairs in your bedroom - lying on the be and talking - talking and our long walks home from High School. Your Mom always looked a little tired and always in the kitchen. She had prettysmile and I always felt welcome...."

The "we" is her and her husband, Dave, her high school sweetheart. Some good things last.