October 1, 1962. A letter from the friend who sent me the St. Olaf's material. It begins:

"Read this issue of Harper's. Very good critique of Salinger...Read 'Coney Island of the Mind' by Ferlinghetti."

There are many ways in which I envy my daughter the freedom and sense of self she has that I did not at her age. But I wish her generation had the excitement of discovery that ours had. She talks about dorm curfews (10:15 on Wednesday, for corridor meetings) and the dorm mother waiting for them outside the door when they are 20 minutes late the night they saw "The Virgin Spring." "Saw 'The Virgin Spring' last night and it was without a doubt the most fabulous movie I have ever seen....Ingmar Bergman is amazing - especially in his use of photography." She talks about Joan Baez, Peggy and Pete Seeger, Bonnie Dobson. Meeting Karl; Rolvaag, future governor of Minnesota, and son of the novelist Ole Rolvaag, author of "Giants in the Earth." A junior class party with Canadian Club bottles as candle holders, netting on the walls and ceiling, a fire in the fireplace, and people getting up and reading 'Howl' by Ginsberg, Ferlinghetti, and playing folk music and jazz piano.

"I also just got a green book bag. Some people (Holy Ole's) think you're affected if you carry your books in a book bag, but actually they're just damn practical and nobody but the non-conformists dare carry them."

Jan mentions the "Mississippi crisis" - and the atomic bomb scares. She writes, "Swanson says someting about 'we will now remain standing in a prayer for the nation' and it scared the hell out of me. I guess I want to know if they've gone and bombed New York or Chicago...Turned out to be the Mississippi Crisis." Which turns out to be James Meridith enrolling in "Ole Miss."

So I was wrong. Some of the 60's was starting in 1962. In Northfield, Minnesota.

And, of course, in Mississippi...

October 13, 1962 - I am already enrolled, and attending Carthage College, Carthage, Illinois. Did I forget to mention, this is a Lutheran College? Therefore all the references to Lutherans. By the way, I didn't find George Mack when I googled him. I found him in the directory. I had forgotten his last name, and that he was from Chicago. Very late at night, at Carthage, we would tune into WGN, and Franklyn MacCormack (and to see what he was all about, go to http://www.nwfolk.com/franklyn). Chicago was our Mecca, and we did homage in that direction nightly.

There were no buses into Carthage, no trains or planes, and automobiles were in rather short supply too, unless you knew a frat boy who had one. Then they were used to go out into the countryside and drink and make out. Yeah. Make out. Heavy petting. Stuff like that. Ah - the 50's (which lasted at least until 1965, I keep telling you.)

Anyway, apparently I was thinking of changing venues, since my friend Jan, who was attending St. Olaf's in Northfield, Minnesota (more widely known as the site of the Great Northfield Minnesota Raid of the James and the Younger Brothers) has her college send me admissions information. Some items of interest:

"In conformity with its general aim, St. Olaf College admits as students young men and women of good moral character and good health who are properly qualified.....etc., etc." Lets me out right there, although Carthage probably said the same thing. I did not arrive on campus as a virgin, although we won't go into that right now. The background for my choice of Carthage? My parents were pillars of the local Lutheran Church, and the church gave me a scholarship. Hey, I was a secretary for my state Luther League. Of course, I was also reading Ayn Rand at the time, and was a staunch atheist at 16, but of course, I could not tell my parents and certainly could not stop going to church.

"Symbolizing a Christ-centered education, Boe Memorial Chapel stands at the heart of the St. Olaf campus....serv(ing) to develop spiritual maturity as the unifying and motivating force for all life and learning." I didn't begin to find anything approaching spiritual maturity until my first Dead show in 1979.

"At St. Olaf, the comprehensive fee of $1,700 includes tuition, room, board, laboratory fees, library fees, activity fees, music practice rooms and health service fee. The only costs not included are books and private music lessons." Looking back down the years, this can only be regarded as some sort of lost paradise, some Shangri-La now forever out of reach!

I reach into the magic bag and pull out - The Carthage College Directory, for 1961-1962. It has underlined names. I can actually put faces to many of these names. Faces from 40 years ago. Like faces of Titanic survivors. Survivors of the 50's. I cannot, however, picture one Horst Hackemer, from Chicago. I wonder if he survived. I should Google him. I did Google one other, whose last name I have been unable to remember. I think I found him. In this list, anyway. Not in Google. George Mack. I can't even picture him, but I remember him. He was one of our Bohemians. He was one of those guys I always thought was way cool. Even years later, I remember him as being way cool. I remember the time he decided to get into pain. He decided that pain was such a natural phenomenon, why should we fear it. As a matter of fact, since pain told us that we had hurt ourselves, it served a valuable purpose. We should not be afraid of pain. When something hurts us, we should try to experience it joyfully. I think he broke his ankle, or sprained it or something. I remember him telling the story, how at first he hopped around (must have been sprained, not broken), howling, and then he remembered his new philosophy. He stopped right there, and instead of howling, he put some real effort into trying to appreciate the pain. There was still some whining and whimpering going on, but the words he used were words of acceptance. "Oh, good pain. I love you, pain." Stuff like that. George was weird. George was cool.

Oh, now, this one I almost remember. My sister and her best friend visiting me at college. I would have been 18??? 19??? Must be 19 - my second year at Carthage College, a small Lutheran College then located in Carthage, Illinois, famous for the jail in which Joseph Smith and his brother, founders of the Mormon Church, were shot to death in 1844. I don't know if they were killed by Lutherans. Carthage is now located in Kenosha, Wisconsin, and is quite modern. In those days, it was, how you say, quaint.

So anyway, I must be 19, because Joan and Maryann drive up to see me, and they must have just gotten their driver's licenses. Joan is three years younger than me. Ergo...

They send me a thank you card.

Maryann writes:

"Yow-eee!! We sure had fun!! I haven't stopped talking about the wonderful time I had since I've been home - my mother is beginning to hate me. We had a real nice trip home. Made it in less than three hours - with a little practice we could probably make it in a half hour..." Now that's a girl with a new driver's license!

My sister - now this is some real period fashion stuff - writes: "Barb, PLEASE send your brown darling shoes to me the day you get this, please...you see, I am having mom make a greenish beige herring bone sheath for our delightful Homecoming and your brown heels will be lovely!" Excuse me? A greenish beige herring bone sheath? Made by Mom? For Homecoming? Ah - I miss the 60's. Yes, the 60's. This would have been 1963. I keep telling you, THOSE 60's didn't start until 1966, at least. And most of the 60's never made it into central Illinois.