January 1963. He has just arrived in Fort Lee, VA. Ten pages outlining the new place and his place in it. He is a clerk/typist. The Cuban missile crisis was in October of '61, but he mentions the possibility of his unit being transferred temporarily to Florida in support of something or other there. I don't think they went.

This letter holds clues as to why Vietnam - and even now, Iraq - was and is now such a problem for the U.S. military. Every thing he tells me about the organization, his job and what is expected of him - all of it - speaks to the war of W.W.II - and even Korea. It posits enemy forces and front lines, armies opposing each other. There is not a single mention of the possibility of guerilla or insurgent warfare. I'm not certain that the army that rolled into Iraq in 2003 was any more prepared for that possibility than was the army of 1963.

A letter from mom. They (the whole family) are at a Sporting Goods show in Chicago where my dad is trying to sell a "pinpool" game he invented. Mom indicates there is lots of interest, especially from some military folks who are thinking of games soldiers play in the rec rooms, but as I recall, nothing really came of it. I don't know why.

Reading it, I think perhaps my fiancee' would have been the one to whom to market it, he going into the hardware business and all - and a big section of his dad's store was toys.

She talks about it being very cold in Chicago, and even cold (40 degrees) in their rooms! This is January of 1963.

Women's lib: "They had a couple of nice affairs for the women members. On Monday there was a brunch...with a lovely fashion show - some Paris designers...This was sponsored by the AMF, so they showed lots of adorable bowling clothes too." Paris designers? Adorable bowling clothes? Nice affairs for the women?

She went to Carson, Pirie, Scott's for the "Mexican Market Place" - "really fun to see in the middle of the winter! They have wandering caballeros who sing and play guitars." I think it was her first visit to the Chicago Art Museum as well. Larry took me there for my first time. I still remember him showing me the "Bedroom at Arles" by Van Gogh and "Nighthawks at the Diner" by what's his name.

18 January 1963: I am beginning to see - or rather, confirmed in my suspicion of - the reason I began to retreat from him. Apparently I have written him about a study group or discussion group or something of the sort with which I am involved, or which I have started - I don't remember it. But I must have written him a letter full of some kind of intellectual speculation, and he is very pleased. Then he asks if he can join in the discussions by mail - which would have been fine, I think. But he follows this request up with a series of questions: Are you serious enough about this thing to institute a basis for membership? Will there be a purpose of goal? "The scope of your meetings should be outlined as well as the direction to be followed in the study and research." This last was underlined. He goes on to ask who will benefit from these discussions, and if it would be possible to create issues and work toward reform of some sort.

I don't remember what I had in mind, but I'm certain it was a far more nebulous thing than any of this, and his requirements would have put me off considerably. Something I might have found fun and interesting, he wanted to make serious and purposeful. He was imposing a structure on something I'm certain I thought of as basically unstructured.

I suppose that's why, in the end, I found the hippies. He stayed in the hardware store. Whether that was the best thing for either of us, we'll never know. It simply is.