Partial letter from Larry, mailed October 10, 1962. "Beware of the Anne's. [my former roommate]. They are good for your ego, and hide their real attitudes and reactions to you because they expect the same from you. Now the meek or odd person might do the same thing, so you must be careful. To fight against this, I sometimes start arguements for the simple reason of trying to induce criticism and healthy debates....I am only trying to study reactions to my beliefs and thereby alter or improve them til I am satisfied."

I had a conversation with my recent ex-boyfriend's sister this past weekend. He is once again in a temporary treatment center for 4 days. He had been sleeping on my couch, but he is not welcome here again. His sister is an attorney in New York and teaches law at Vassar. Her husband is in business of some kind. We talked about men who stopped maturing at about age 15, although she believes her husband may have made it to 17. The Michael she knew (her brother) growing up is the same Michael we all know today. A 51-year-old teenager. I know lots of men like that. And so does she. Even with our quite radically different social sets.

Was 1962/63 the last year of the maturing male? Did Viet Nam send us all reeling into endless childhood? I do know some men who managed to make it off a bar stool and into a life. But not many. And the ones who never made it onto a bar stool are not necessarily men I would want to know. Larry sat on a bar stool from time to time. But he would sit there and think.