Oh where oh where did my other self go?

I have come up with a plan for us to meet at Thanksgiving. He writes (after assuring me that even if this one doesn't work, we will meet at T-day somehow somewhere):

"It's too bad that your plan could not be worked out for another reason that for the first time, (or maybe the second), you have thought ahead and at least attempted to 'watch your step' so to speak. I remember so many times we would do something which you had in no way thought your plan of action or consequences. Your complete disregard of preparation and careful checking never failed to unnerve me...it is something unique in the history of my activities in related situations. I never used to be this way until you."

I foresee trouble in the future. Here, it is trouble averted, or diverted is a better waytro put it. If he ever reads this, he would be gratified to know that I struck my first husband much the same way, and kept acting out and rebelling against I don't know what and getting frustrated being with men who, once we were together, ceased to want to do anything or have fun. My second husband said something very similar. Something like, there was something about me that made him want to hold me back. I don't remember wanting to do anything that was that extravagant or unacceptable. I do remember very many things I wanted to do involving picnics or plays or movies or something - I was often told "no."

When I hit bottom a few years ago, I swam back up via the "control freak" route. I had to tell myself no. But I do take myself to the movies now and then.