Just a little note where he says he has a letter from my mom, approving our meeting at my roommate Anne's for Thanksgiving. Of course, we plan no such thing. We plan a meeting in a hotel room in Kentucky. I can't even remember where. I remember being there. I vaguely remember being on a bus. I vaguely remember getting very drunk - that is, when I read another of his letters received after the meeting, he mentions it and it rings a bell. I think it was disappointing in some ways. I probably got drunk and threw up all over stuff and was too sick to have sex or something incredibly stupid like that.

I was thinking about what I wrote a couple of blogs ago, about my partners' reaction to my enthusiasm and feeling that they have to tie me up, tie me down, restrain me somehow. I'm thinking that may explain why, in later years, I chose men who were intellectually weaker than me, who I would not feel cowed by (that should read "by whom I would not feel cowed"). I wonder if I'm strong enough yet to hold my own against an equal. I wonder if I'll ever get the chance. Mooooooo......